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24 MAR '22

How Do I Start Exploring BDSM?

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Ever wonder: How do I start exploring BDSM? Before we can have a look at how you can safely venture into the world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism we first have to define exactly what BDSM is. BDSM is sexual preferences and behaviors involving pain, physical restraints, an unequal power relationship, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism.

The importance of consent for BDSM practices cannot be emphasized enough! Consent needs to be enthusiastic, on-going and voluntary. Consent must never been coerced or manipulated.

Fun is encouraged during BDSM activities. Don does not take yourself too seriously the first time when practicing BDSM. You are going to make mistakes as a newbie. Just enjoy exploring your fantasies and desires with your partner.

If you plan to indulge in power play (dominance and submission or sadist and masochist roles), you need to remember that both of you have equal power during pre-sex negotiations. It is also during the negotiations phase that safe words need to be identified. Participants should feel free to use safe words the moment they feel too much pain or discomfort or if a scene starts unfolding that was not part of the negotiations.

To ensure that optimum levels of pleasure are reached during BDSM practices, boundaries need to be discussed and kept. You should always know your own as well as your partner’s limits to ensure maximum safety and pleasure.

Honesty is the most important aspect to BDSM. Discuss details such as past experiences, health problems, emotional triggers, and turn-offs beforehand. Speak up! People are not mind-readers, and it is impossible to expect your partner to instinctively know your needs, wants, and limits.

It is very important to practice safe sex in the form of condom usage persistently. Always use a condom with a new partner or partner you know, or suspect has intercourse with multiple individuals. Condom usage helps reduce your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as human papillomavirus (HPV), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and Syphilis. You should however keep in mind that even when used correctly, condoms offer 0% protection against sexually transmitted diseases spread via sores on the skin (such as genital warts) if the affected area is not completely covered by the condom.

When purchasing lubricant, it is crucial to remember that water-based lubes are safe to use with latex condoms and silicone sex toys. Oil-based lube disintegrates latex and silicone and therefore can lead to condom tears and bursts. Consult your doctor immediately after a condom leak or burst since post exposure prophylaxis (PEP) treatment for HIV and emergency contraception will need to be discussed and the chosen treatment option implemented as soon as possible.

In general, speak to your physician about BDSM and its risks and benefits if you are unsure about this form of fetish sex. Your medical practitioner will be able to provide you with all the information you need to keep BDSM practices safe and pleasurable. Health, safety and well-being should always be an individuals' top priorities.

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